How does self-talk affect your self-image and confidence?

A positive self-image is having a good view of yourself and sometimes it's what we struggle with the most.

Viewing yourself as a good and intelligent person or seeing a happy, healthy person when you look in the mirror has its own challenges, but as we get older, it feels like these challenges multiply…

Mental chatter or self-talk is something we naturally do all day long, right? We talk to ourselves, either silently or at times even out loud. And oftentimes we don't even realize we're doing it.

Evidence has shown that the conversations we have in our heads can have a huge impact on our emotions, our self-image and of course our actions as well.

People that use more positive self-talk are more likely to feel better about themselves, on the other hand, those that engage in negative self-talk are more likely to have negative self-image, makes total sense, right?

Positive self-talk is when you use affirming and supportive phrasing within your thoughts.  In contrast, negative self-talk involves using judgmental and blaming phrasing in your thoughts.

Take a moment to reflect on your inner dialogue:

Are you critical of yourself?

Are you supportive of yourself? 

Do you say things like, “I am doing the best I can” or like “Everyone must think I am stupid”?

We usually go about our days and let our minds wander whilst talking sooo much of what doesn't even help us in any way. And the more we do it, the more autopilot it gets, sadly or luckily.

It's a muscle you can train and so although at first it may be extremely hard and energy-consuming, it will pay off in the long run 10000%. And you know it!

Positive self-talk is not about tricking yourself into viewing everything as wonderful.  It's likely impossible and is not even productive to always have a positive view.

Instead, positive self-talk helps you to see the wholetruth, not just the negative aspects of any given situation. It gives you the helicopter view we all need at times!

By using more positive self-talk, you are more likely to build confidence and self-esteem, feel more in control of events in your life, and achieve your goals.

It's literally programming you each day and you're most likely not even paying attention as to what you're telling yourself. Now, isn't that just silly?

Pay attention to what you're telling yourself during the day. In different situations, different emotional settings, in the company of different people or when being alone, both when things go well and when you mess up.

For best results and possible introspective fruit, write it down in your journal or in telephone notes. Pick 1 to 3 situations from the day and analyze the way you did or experienced something and the way your mind put that into words.

For example, when you were running a bit late and forgot to take something with you and had to go back home and get it, what were you telling yourself? 

“Stupid cow, forgot the car keys, how are we going to drive this?! Going to be late again and I'm always late. People always have to wait for me, ah!”

or are you compassionate towards yourself and don't blame yourself for just being a little late and forgetting the keys in the rush? Perhaps you'd tell yourself something along the lines of

“Ah, forgot the keys! Well, happens! Ok, let's go get them and try to get to work on time! Go, Lucy!”

Change the negative thoughts that aren't rational to something a bit more positive & helpful!

Write down the unhelpful thoughts and in front of them write the ideal version of what you would have wanted to say. 

Next time you're in the situation, try doing it on the spot. It will be messy and annoying at first, but you'll get better each time.

The goal is not to delete the “bad” thoughts. In fact, there are no bad thoughts, it's what you make them and the goal is to minimize the negative and unhelpful self-talk to something that lifts you up and actually makes you feel like a decent person. And you are so much more than that!

Yes, you can literally do that! Being more kind, more understanding, more loving and compassionate towards yourself in your mind makes you believe you're a better person (and you are!) which actually makes you feel good about yourself, feel more confident and capable of doing things!

Try this for a week and see yourself change in front of your own eyes. It's crazy how much we actually can do by ourselves. For ourselves!

Wishing you a wonderful week ahead,